I just watched this poem a person put on Facebook that just…floored me. One, it was a white women that was spittin’ (reciting) this poem. And two, it was about growing up in this world–whether you’re Black, White, Latino or Asian–and feeling that you’re only asset to this world is to be pretty and desired by men.
But because this is a blog dedicated to Black women–and because I’m a Black woman–I can only speak on my story and my observations.
I am definitely one of the ones that come home from the club and just be feeling like complete shit. It isn’t because I didn’t have fun or I didn’t drink enough or dance enough. It’s because out of all my friends or whomever I with, I was always desired by 1 man and that was usually because my friends turned them down and I was standing next to them so he looks at me like, “Well, do you wanna dance?”
Granted, the club isn’t the place that you can find a top notch dude…by NO means! However, the club is a breading ground for attraction. It’s the EASIEST place to attract–outside of the club, you have to work a little bit harder to get the attention of a man. In the club, you can just wear your best push-up bra, some booty shorts and some stilettos and you’re good to go.
Even with my girls out, I still don’t attract anyone. SO, I feel like crap when I come home.
Where am I going with this?
There are a lot of women who rate their beauty on the amount of men that want to sleep with them. They value themselves by the quantity of men they bring home, the quantity of men they have in their cell phones and the quantity of men that text them in the middle night asking, “So you wanna hang?”
This to them is a badge of honor. And this is where their beauty is reinforced. Not their intelligence and their tenderness or their kindness.
I guess what I’m saying is, Just because you’re f*ckable doesn’t mean you’re beautiful.
Men who will sleep with anything, WILL sleep with anything. You can be the lightest girl with long hair or the darkest girl with a BAA, they will sleep with you. It doesn’t mean you’re attractive, it just means they want to sleep with you.
The quantity of men is not important, it’s the quality of men.
And, I think it’s time out for those of us (including me) that don’t get the amount of men that we THINK everyone else does to stop with the nonsense and search for our beauty on the inside–not in a man.
I think it’s time out for us (including me) to stop thinking that in order for us to be beautiful, we must have that reinforcement by a man.
It’s time to stop it.