The American version of time is so embedded in our culture that we tend to allow it to spill over from the day-to-day activities to our entire lifetime.
Let me explain:
By 16 you’re supposed to have your first love; by 18, you’ve should’ve date 2 boys by now, have graduated from high school and on your way to the college of YOUR dreams; by 22, you should be in a committed relationship with a guy from college and should be graduating either now or the next semester; by 24, you should be engaged to said guy from college, married to him and also be working at the job of your dreams; by 30, you should be pregnant or already have your first child; and by 35, you should be done with having children and be completely in charge of your department or own the whole dang business.
If these milestones are not achieved by a particular age, we feel that we are completely behind.
And even it’s easier to feel this way when you go on Facebook or Twitter and see pictures and statuses and tweets about people achieving their goals, moving out on their own, getting married, having children…and you’re still at your parents’ house going to school part-time eating out the refrigerator on Friday nights.
I’ve felt that way before, especially in the love department. I didn’t have my first love until I was 19, my first relationship was when I was 25. And I saw those stunned stares when I was a 21-year-old youngling when I told a person I never had a relationship. And those stares negatively motivated me to hurry things along instead of letting things progress naturally. And because I decided to foil the Creator’s plans, I made a complete mess at things and had some very heartbreaking, but eye-opening experiences.
I guess what I’m saying is that your life is too amazing, too wonderful, and too exciting to compare it to someone else’s.
I think that’s the one thing that’s so wrong with our community. From an early age we are taught to compete with the other women of our group. We have to one-up someone, somewhere at sometime because if we don’t, it’s a reflection of our self-worth.
We HAVE to be the baddest “bitch,” in the club. We HAVE to be the one that the cute dude talks to. We HAVE to be the best dressed. We HAVE to have a fiance, we can’t be left behind. We HAVE to, we HAVE to… until we look around at 35 and realize that we didn’t enjoy life! We were too busy trying to reach the next milestone instead of enjoying the last one.
Listen, everyone has a different pace in a race. There are some that sprint, there are some that jog, there are some that walk and, yes, there are some that crawl, but what matters is that you finish it.
Enjoy where you are.