Is she a Friend or an Associate?

I was scoping out MadameNoire–as usual–and I found a very interesting article about Friendship.

It was funny because my twins sister and I were just talking about this subject. She was expressing concern because she realized the “friends” she made in college were drifting away and, if not, have disappeared from her life altogether.

I’ve come to realize that my sister has always found safety in numbers. The more people you have around you at any given time the more safe you feel about yourself and your surroundings. While she always had 5 or more “friends,” when she was at Spelman, I’ve always had at the very least 3 close friends while I was at UCF.

What I’m saying is that I’ve learned to differentiate from a Friend and an Associate.

I had to learn the hard way, though. At one point I lost two “friends” in one semester because I realized that they were like a poison–I never felt good around them, they never spoke positively to me…we always argued about something or other…

But the main reason why I decided to let them go was they didn’t have my best interest at heart. It was always a competition. They were more like “frenemies,”….backstabbers…. They were exactly who the O’Jays were describing in “Backstabbers,” “Lyin in your face/All the time want to take your place” LOL.

So, I let them go and now have an amazing core of friends I wouldn’t trade for the world…And, guess what? There’s only like 3 (well, besides my family)!

As women, we have to realize that at the end of the day there are certain people you can count on, and certain people you can’t.

And once we differentiate those we can and can’t, life will be much easier…less drama.

So, I was reading this article and I was happy to find out that I have those core of friends.

I’m feeling mighty blessed right now. 🙂



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