I was searching YouTube like I usually do during my 8–hour stint at work and found this VERY interesting video below:
This got me thinking about all the young men I’ve had debates with over the subject of colorism. I realized that every single one was dark-skinned.
Hmmmm… this is interesting, I thought. I have never in my years had this conversation with a light-skinned man. I have seen many light-skinned men dating women darker than them, but I have NEVER seen a dark-skinned man dating a woman the same complexion as him (well, maybe once. My best friend is a beautiful chocolate complexion and her ex-boyfriend was too. But that’s out of hundreds of Black relationships I’ve seen since I was a teenager).
You see, I have the pleasure of having a group of friends that represent all shades of the Black diaspora. One is light-skinned, I am “caramel,” and the other is dark. During the times we had our nights on the town, I realized that darker skinned men would hit on my lighter-skinned friend and maybe me while not even looking in the way of my darker-skinned friend, but light-skinned men would hit on all three of us.
So, why is this?
I’ve come to the conclusion that it is yet another form of self-hatred perpetuated on us by the Eurocentric world.
In a post in a past– The Tired Black Man and the Angry Black Woman Part 2: Why Black Women are So Angry— I made the argument that the Eurocentric pressures of the world are glorified in our community because of psychological self-hatred imposed on us during slavery. It was the slave master’s goal to not only get free labor from us, but to destroy every connection we had to the Motherland.
Colorism–or shadeism–is not only in the Black community, but in the communities of Peoples of Color all over the world.
And who to hate themselves more than those that have been pushed to the back-burner of our society not by Whites, but their own people.
These are young men who were raised called ugly, ignorant, loud, thuggish by their own people. I remember as a little girl one of my Aunties told me to date a light-skinned man so my child could be pretty and have “good hair” (ugh! I hate that term).
So, growing up, they are reminded of that everyday. Just like dark-skinned women, they tend to find lighter significant others to not only carry on Eurocentric attitudes, but to feel better about themselves. They are brainwashed to believe that lighter means prettier, which is certainly NOT the case. How many of us have seen an ugly light-skinned girl and a beautiful dark-skinned girl? (But then, they want to say we’re pretty “for a dark-skinned girl” What kind of ignorance is that?)
It’s a sad state of affairs that we continue allow this issue to divide us. We scream that we as a people are free, but are we really if we continue to allow the emotional scars of slavery to dictate our everyday lives?