This is a continuation from my last post about The Bad Boy Syndrome and Mr. Thug. Mr. Thug was a huge part of my love life for 3 years.
It’s a lot of mistakes. lol
So, like I was saying, after Mr. Thug revealed to me that he was dating someone else the whole time, I WAS CRUSHED.
I decided not to see him anymore, but that was short-lived. I decided to be “just friends,” with him, but that was certainly more short-lived.
Mr. Thug knew what words to say and how to look at me that kept me running back to him. He dated other girls throughout the 3 years, but he NEVER once thought about dating me. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me, so I became more and more depressed.
We had a little tit-for-tat, Mr. Thug and I. We would continue on whatever it was we were doing. I would find out that he was dating someone, cut him out of my life. Then, he would come back months later, say that he wasn’t dating that girl anymore and I would fall right back into his trap until I find out he was either dating the same girl or someone new!!!
There was a turning point in our “relationship,” when Mr. Thug got a girl pregnant. It struck some twisted cord in me. Instead of leaving him alone, I pursued him.
Why? Because I thought that this was going to be my lot in life, some boy’s “other woman,” and I had better enjoy it. And maybe, just maybe, I was jealous that this new girl and wanted to stick it to this b#@%h who symbolized all the girls that he cared enough to date them. I was jealous that not only did she take him away from me, but she sealed a bond with him causing him to be in her life forever.
So I pursued him, but it didn’t last. Mr. Thug neglected to tell me that his baby’s mother was living with him and was waiting for him to come home from my house– alone and pregnant. AND that he was seeing various other girls as well, not just me.
And you would think that was enough, but he added salt to the wound by trying to pass me along to one of his friends.
And, for the first time in our little twisted “love affair,” I actually got angry with him… not just angry, but I had a rage. A rage that built up with all the lies he told me, all the things I went through with him, the embarrassment, the guilt, the anxiety, the tears, the moments that I thought I was going to die without him, the pain…I WASTED MY FIRST KISS ON THIS LOSER!
And from my belly I cussed him out so bad that it probably made his ears bleed on his ride back home to his obli vious baby’s mother.
Let’s just say I never saw him again. 🙂
Mr. Thug was my worst experience, but I learned so much from him.
I learned to love myself and to not lower my standards on how I should be treated. I learned that NO MAN is worth giving up your dignity and pride for no matter how good-looking. I learned that I’m a very patient woman, but I should be that patient with a man who deserves me.
But the most important thing I learned was that I’m not second best, I AM the best. And because I am the best I deserve happiness.