I never knew there was a documentary entitled “Diary of a Tired Black man.” Had no clue it existed, had no clue that men even cared to really express how they felt about the Black male and female relationship. As my mother and I watched the documentary I couldn’t take my eyes off the T.V.
The documentary was an eye-opener on so many levels!
While watching it I was informed, titillated, intrigued and even rebuked (Yes, I was the one girlfriend who never had a man but tried to tell my friends what they would do in their relationship) by the issues that were brought up. I even got an answer to what made the Black man so tired of the Black woman that he would ditch the entire Black female population and run into the arms of an Latino, Asian and White woman.
The question was what the Black woman did to make the Black man be so sick and tired? The answer is that we NAGGED too much.
Yes, we nag. We don’t give them peace and quiet when they come home for work. We don’t support them. We try to make them into the Superman we’ve always dreamed of. We break down their ego and, yes, we never see the good man we have in front of us. So, we ultimately drive them away to other ethnicities (race, but race is a social construct, right?).
And that’s where I have my problem.
I’ll be honest, I have seen some Black women nag the hell out of their men, but I’ve also seen an Hispanic chick nag her’s to death as well. I have seen Black women not support the vision of their men, but I’ve also seen an Asian woman do the same. I have seen Black women break down the ego of their men, but I’ve seen a White woman do it too…even hit the man and call him names on national TV.
My point is that you CAN’T think that the ethnicity of a woman gives her certain characteristics and stereotypes. Just because the woman isn’t Black, doesn’t mean she can’t give you hell. A woman is a woman and a man is a man, no matter what the ethnicity. You will have the same problem with a White woman you will have with a Black woman.
IT DOESN’T GO AWAY. I’m sorry.
So for those few Black men out there that think it’s going to be easier dating a woman outside your own ethnicity because you’ve been burned by a few Black women, think again because a woman is a woman. You might end up with a Hispanic, Asian or White woman that nags too.
Maybe it’s not the women, maybe it’s you.
The next step is to sit back and examine how you can elevate yourself to attract the women you want to attract (We’ll talk more about that later).
So, Black men, don’t give up on us because you’ve dated an Angry Black woman and she made your life a living hell. That’s only 1, 2, or 3… they don’t represent all of us.
If you want to date outside your ethnicity, then do it, but don’t blame us, don’t make us feel like we’ve driven you away. We’ve been talked down by society our whole lives and it isn’t progressive to hear it from our own men.
Don’t give up on us, because we don’t give up on you.