How I got Over….

Breakups are hard…

Breakups can be especially hard when you find out that the relationship wasn’t really one at all. That it was totally in your mind as you let your emotions take over every single aspect of your mind.

Thinking back, I realized that the two “relationships,”  I had were definitely one-sided. That should’ve been a sign…

But, I digress…

Even though I never officially was the said person’s girlfriend–he never asked me to be– in my mind I already had taken that step, I was already fulfilling that role, without their permission. So, in hindsight, IT WAS MY FAULT

I know it’s difficult for a woman to take responsibility for the end of a relationship. As women, we are used to playing the “victim,” role. We are used to society taking our sides without giving it a second thought. This is the role we play and we play it well.

But I’m not going to.

How did I get over these men? I realized that it was my fault that I felt the way I did. Now, I’m not completely exonerating these men for treating me the way they did, but I am putting myself to blame because I ALLOWED these men to treat me this way. So, my broken heart is at least halfway MY fault.

Once I realize this, I had to forgive myself for the pain I caused NappyCentric. And that was the hardest part. You see, the easiest thing to do is to forgive others, but the hardest thing in the world to do is to forgive yourself. It’s an unconscious war, forgiving yourself is. It’s because that out of everyone in the world, the very first person you can trust is yourself and if you can’t forgive yourself, you don’t fully trust yourself to be who you are.

So, I got over them…every single last one. I’ve forgiven them for the pain they caused, but the real question is, can I forgive myself?



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